Having confidence is one of the hardest struggles now days in this era. Sometimes it’s hard to achieve that confidence when things never go in your favor, or just because of your up bringing. It’s so many different reasons why. But I do know people with low confidence are slightly intimidated by people with confidence. It is one of the things we all want most in life, let’s be honest. But overtime I have slowly grown in confidence over the last few years and wanted to share some things that have really helped me.
So firstly, understanding that confidence is something that comes naturally. Of course getting your hair down, wearing make up, or putting in a really cute outfit can make you feel good. But true confidence comes from loving yourself & knowing yourself.
No matter what you wear and how you wear it, you will always love who you are and how you look regardless. And it’s always been fairly odd to me that you can meet someone who is beautiful inside & out and they can also suffer from some insecurities to but your wondering “why is this person this way, when they are such a beautiful person?” When they think the same about you as well. It’s just not that simple though.
But when you remove everything how do you feel when you are by yourself and left with your thoughts? How do you feel when you look in the mirror? How do you feel when everything isn’t going right? How do you feel when you aren’t the chosen one? When I finally got tired of being insecure and not having confidence within myself, I picked up my journey and wrote a list of questions and answer them every day until I began answering them with no effort. Because I didn’t have an answer on why I felt negative things about myself.
So I started by asking myself this:
1. Why am I feeling this way? Because I really wanted that job, I have all the qualifications for the position and I never get chosen.
2. How do I feel right now? Upset, not good enough, confused, & stressed
3. What am afraid? This question right here in particular actually made me slightly emotional. Because it’s a valid question. Why am I afraid when your not suppose to live in fear. I realized I make everything a big deal because I find that it’s my mission to make sure I don’t make any mistakes. Why am I always in a worry state of mind when all I think about is “if I’m going to fail?” Me always being nervous or anxious has always been a struggle for me. And sometimes it still does… but sometimes I’ll go through things now knowing that even the worst case scenario is not something to be nervous about. I remember when I said a speech at my cousin wedding, of course I was the maid of honor so I had to say something. And yes I was slightly nervous but I actually did it. If you know me, you know I’m such an introvert and I am not bold at all when it comes to talking to people I don’t know or just talking in front a bunch of people. It makes my skin crawl. I actually was so proud of myself that I didn’t feel anxious for once. It’s something small hahaha but it was definitely a big step for me.
4. What do I need right now?
5. What do I feel about myself right now? I went to look in my note book and I said “like a failure” wow :(.
6. How do I feel about myself as a woman?
7. What do I feel about myself as an single Mommy?
8. Why I don’t feel secure within myself?
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