6 Ways how you can find yourself again after falling apart.

Some people like myself struggled with finding myself. At some point in our life we are being informed by our peers or close ones, how to be something we aren’t. And sometimes we haven’t even identified our own self, and to have to deal with people who try to choose us to be someone can draw so much confusion. In reality we have to find our own selves, and just be US. There is a lot of people out there whom fake it to the make it, but imagine being someone your not, that will get you no where. Everyone should adore who they really are. Embrace how smart, incredible, & outstanding you are.

1. No one opinion matters to me anymore

I can assure you that people opinion use to always matter to me. Sadly, I cared what people think way to much. For an example, If i wear a certain outfit i would get self-conscious about myself. In my head ill ask myself “What if people judge me”, “What if people don’t like what i’m wearing.” So i would literally change my outfit about three times until i feel i just might not get judged. One day, i said fuck this! I wore exactly what i wanted and didn’t feel no kind of way after that. Making that choice to not care what others think, I felt so freely & more open within my true self. 

2. I started to support others more

I’m not saying i wasn’t supportive because i truly am. But at first i didn’t believe in supporting others that aren’t close to me. Then i realize that it’s okay to support others. It’s okay to cheer up others and be there to motivate someone to achieve their goals. It is a time in life where i was kind of bitter, and didn’t feel that people deserve to succeed. So not fair and right at all, so i started encouraging others no matter if i knew them or not. It helped me look at life more different, and motivated me.

3. I started to appreciate the little things

Growing up in my household as the only child was kind of complicated because i was really spoiled. I was the brat you didn’t want to be around. If nothing didn’t go my way i threw a tantrum. I didn’t appreciate nothing what so ever. And it’s not cute to brag about but hey i’m being honest. That changed. Everything that i tried to avoid in life, I began to enjoy it. I began to come closer with myself and the outside world, and be able to understand that nothing is easy, people think differently, and so much changes will happen throughout life. So being able to appreciate the small things help me become a better person with a brighter mindset.

4. I blocked out negative energy by turning it to positive

I use to feed into negative energy so much it use to scare me. I was negative, my surroundings was negative, and it would drag with me wherever i allowed it. Sometimes i would be so cool with someone, and here they go with a negative ass comment, and i would just feed into it like it was okay. Now, I learned how to turn negative energy into positive energy. I rather see someone laugh then see someone mad. So my focus now is

5. I started to love myself truly

Loving myself was definitely one of the hardest things to do. When i looked in the mirror i seen a totally different person. I definitely didn’t see the beautiful face i see today. I would find every small thing about me and would complain about it. Now how did i fix this? I started finding thing i actually love about my self, and I would look in the mirror and tell myself everyday what i love about me :). For example: I got shot in 2010. So when i’m getting dressed and i see my bullet wounds, I always say “Hey pretty scars”, just to uplift me and to understand even though they are wounds, they are also beautiful! Me complimenting myself keeps my confidence high.

6. I meditate to cope with my anxiety

I have anxiety, which i talk about a lot. But, honestly my anxiety has calm down a lot since i found things to help cope with it. Which is meditating. Meditating has helped me in so many ways, and keeps me so calm. I remember when i couldn’t even find ways to cope with my anxiety, it was like nothing worked for me. Until i stepped out my comfort zone and tried new things. Such as “meditating.”

These are some of the tips that helped me with finding myself. To be exact the main tips that really helped me. Losing yourself is the worst to go through because everyone strength is different. Some people find themselves after while, and some people it might just take time. But you have to want change, better, happiness, and want to move on in life. We need (us), we need our souls to stay present in our bodies, we need to focus on who we need to be more than who we actually are.